Fail Strong!!!

OK, I'm loving this catch-phrase: "Fail Strong"! Today, I found that it applies to SO MANY different settings! But first, I've got to give credit to a local celebrity (in my mind, she's a celebrity, anyway) who I first heard this from. Ms. Wendy Arnold (aka "Garanimal"), a Crossfit Certified & NSCA Certified Personal Trainer at my local St. Pete Crossfit / Dammit Gym (and also a Professional Firefighter, former Figure Competitor, all around incredible and intelligent woman... - quality single guys out there: she's a catch!)

...anyway, sorry to digress. Wendy was "motivating me" through a workout last Friday (OK - she was yelling, but I loved it!) and I knew (and she knew) I was not going to get the last few squat reps in before the timer went off. She yelled out "Come on! Fail strong!". And since then, I can't get that phrase out of my head. What a great way to think when you just can't muster "I can do it". It is perfect for the way my brain works with some training sessions, and I've found it's absolutely perfect in other settings - as I learned last night helping with dinner in a friend's kitchen. We didn't have everything we thought we needed to make a few of the things we were conjuring up, and all of a sudden "Fail Strong!" popped into my head! It made me more resourceful. Instead of "we don't have butter", I thought "what can we use instead of butter". Instead of "I'm still hungry and we don't have dessert", I thought "What can we make for dessert from what I have", which was a bunch of dairy based, creamy things like cottage cheese, yogurt and ricotta...and with a little innovation - a dollop on honey, some chocolate and vanilla extract, a bit of almond butter...and whipped cream - not bad! ...satisfied the sweet tooth and didn't break the scale this morning. It all might have failed, but if it did, I was surely going to fail trying my best - with my best effort!

And then just a bit ago, my refrigerator is virtually empty! I fed my poor husband a smoothie for breakfast made with the last of the milk, the last of the chocolate protein powder, 1/2 of the last serving of pre-made oatmeal I had from the week, and a banana I stole from a continuing education seminar yesterday! Now, we're empty. But I have a lot on my plate today and want to be able to make a nice dinner without haphazardly going to the grocery and spending money on things just for tonight that I'll have left over and that may not fit into the rest of the weekend's or week's "plan" - once it's conjured up. So, what to do, what to do???...

Well, let's Fail Strong again. Surely there's not "nothing" (double negative, I know, but effective!) in the fridge/freezer. After searching, I found 1/2 bag of frozen scallops, about one and a half servings of "salad" in my spinner and a little fresh asparagus and cauliflower. My pantry is almost always stocked well - meaning vinegars, lemon/lime juice, olives, capers, etc. And I do have wine...I always have wine...what can I do here? Fail strong! Get resourceful, figure it out and if it sucks, I've tried really hard and the pizza place across the street is programmed in my phone! So, we're going to try for scallops-piccata tonight with a small salad and skillet stir-fried asparagus and cauliflower with a sweet ginger sauce. Not bad for an empty fridge. I think that Fail Strong phrase resonating in my head motivated me to search beyond what I knew was an empty fridge!

So, emboss Wendy's phrase in your head: FAIL STRONG! If you're unsure and can't muster the will to know you're going to conquer the task at hand, know that you're going down trying your hardest!!!

Dueling Turtle Doves & Strong Women

Now that's a title: "Dueling Turtle Doves & Strong Women". Yes, I made that up myself. Here's what happened. I've been thinking about strong women all week. Women I know that, at young ages, have very mature, motivated attitudes and outlooks. And older strong women who are wise, patient and diligent. All week, I've had this on my mind as it relates to "the last 5 pounds" - or, rather, the 4 pounds that crept up on me over the course of a month of not getting on the scale and being hit or miss with physical activity. Strong women may let that get them down for a few minutes, or a day, but then they figure out all is not lost, get back on track, and within a week or so...viola! Off it comes! But my thinking was along the lines of the fact that there are so many women out there that can't make that succinct determination, and that 4 pounds becomes 8, which becomes 15, an so on. Before they know it, it's unmanageable. Men, on the other hand, or at least the one's I'm associated with, don't have that problem. Most men I know just commit, quit eating (not the right strategy) and viola! Off it comes. Besides the fact that men have a slightly easier time losing weight than women, they also don't have all the emotionally charged hormones that come with being a woman and dealing with excess weight, among other brain-infesting demons! Our hormones give us that emotion, as well as the resistance, at times, to weight loss.

And now, enter the Turtle Doves. This is the connection that spawned the blog. I walked my husband to his car this morning to help pack it up and load his bike so he could go off road biking with friends. There were two Turtle Doves perched about 20 yards apart - one in the parking garage and one by the pool - and they were dueling! I'd not been that close to two of them before, and never had I had the luxury of seeing, as well as hearing them call to each other. It took my breath away. And while my husband was absorbed in other things, even had he been paying attention to them, it wouldn't have affected him the same way. Being a woman gives us the ability to appreciate some truly simple, God-given things! So there's my crazy connection - the fact that I was so taken by those birds brought to mind the innate difference between men and women - our hormones and emotionally capacities and differences - and how this allows women to be strong in the same ways as men, yet in different ways than men.

So, back to strong women. My appreciation for them is equal to that of the Turtle Dove's coo - I'm constantly in awe. I see women's strength in three distinct areas: emotional, mental and physical - yes, physical, too. You can be the toughest, most organized and sensitive woman, but if you don't pay attention to your body, I do lose some respect for you. We were given a brain with which to do things, learn things and care for things emotionally, and which we are responsible to ensure it's maintenance and continued development. And we were given a body with which to do things, and which we are responsible to ensure it's maintenance and continued development. And on this body our bones and muscles must be kept strong and able through exercise and movement, as well our organs and other parts must be maintained through the foods we feed it. These seem like primal needs that should be intuitively fulfilled just because of the gift of life. But so many women I know neglect one or more of the things required to keep our "organism" functioning optimally. And it's the women who don't see the need or don't have the desire to maintain one or more of these things, that I have trouble respecting.

The women in my life currently are either all already strong (but of course, looking to be stronger) in all three areas I mentioned earlier, or they want to be strong, and are seeking the means or pathway. I'll admit, I've had a few ladies who I've "cut loose" because they were either toxic, or they just didn't respect themselves enough to try to make a change to move in the right direction. I struggled with the decision to move them to arms length for months, but once I did, it was weight I no longer carried, because if I consider you a friend, I feel a responsibility to you and to your goals as well. So, to all you ladies:

• If you're not eating right, get to it! And use your head - no fads! If you don't know what to do, hire someone to show you!
• If you're not exercising, get to it! Get outside and run, hit the gym, and if you don't know what to do, again hire someone to show you!
• If you're not accomplishing your personal or professional goals, get to it! Write things down, make a list, confide in a friend for support, ditch the things in life that are blocking you from your goals...and if it's still happening...hire someone to help you!

And to all the strong women in my life, thank you for your ongoing and continued inspiration and support. Whether you know it or not, you're inspiring just by being who you are. At any moment of weakness I may have (e.g., that 4 pounds about a week ago), I simply think of one of you and all that you accomplish and it's that strength I draw on to push myself through. I think of my mom-friends that juggle husbands, kids, homes and activities! Talk about overload! I think of my professional friends that make quick, complicated decisions all day and function at levels equivalent to their male peers, all the while also keeping their home lives in order and working smoothly. And these women also take care of their bodies - whether marathoners, Pilate's-nuts, gym rats or my fellow Crossfitters - they leave nothing behind and love to sweat! I draw from the strength of all you! Thanks!

Packaging Human Motivation

Whenever someone figures this one out, license it because it's worth a bundle!

Human motivation is not objective. It is about as predictable and controllable as the weather! Individual personalities, preferences, ground-in lifestyle habits (both conscious & unconscious), hormonal fluctuations (men, too)...all affect our daily, and at times, hourly motivation to accomplish our goals. Think about it: you start with a planned day at work - a list of accomplishable goals for the day. Invariably, one or two items get pushed off to tomorrow because they either weren't important enough to complete today or because you just didn't feel like tackling that task today...not necessarily because you didn't have time to complete it/them. It's funny how yesterday when you planned today's list, that task was more important then than now. And why? Perhaps yesterday you were motivated to have that task off your list and today you changed your mind. There was a different motivation when you came to that item today. I do it all the time: my schedule indicates several things to address or do today, and those I don't get to, I "slide" to the next day with the touch of a finger...Apple makes it so easy to procrastinate!

Now, I know that there are a thousand - OK, well maybe just hundreds - of terms to describe the phenomenon I just illustrated, but I like human motivation, or the occasional lack thereof. A friend of our family's who happens to be an accomplished orthopaedic surgeon and entrepreneur tipped me off to the problems associated with human motivation as he worked diligently to perfect a home exercise program for patients with post-op total knee replacements - not that the program wasn't perfect, but patient compliance with the program was always the variable and that which could not be predicted. Patients are being instructed on the importance of this type of program from medical professionals. They are being told that the degree of their recovery, specifically how much they can bend and straighten their knee, pain and stiffness levels and overall daily functionality, is dependent on their compliance with the program. But, everyday patients rationalize within their own little brains why they just didn't have the 10 minutes to complete their exercise this morning and/or this evening. And now they wonder why they don't have the outcome that their physician predicted and that they expected...and they probably blame their doctor. Human motivation. Personal responsibility? Connecting intention with execution. We can't predict outcomes if the subject is non-compliant. It was this specific orthopaedist who stated "If you figure out how to package human motivation, it's worth a million".

I also remember several years ago after attending a seminar on Fat Cells and Disease - I approached a friend with all of the facts I'd acquired. I told her how excited I was to communicate these facts to potential clients, friends and family, because once they knew the health-related consequences of how metabolically destructive fat cells are (in excess), they'd surely WANT to change their behavior patterns, exercise and eat right. Her response, though crushing, was an eye opener. "Knowledge does not equate to behavior change. How many nurses do you know that smoke?". She was right, but I just couldn't fathom why. And I still can't. Although, our occasional trip to Hooters for wings and beer still thrills me, and I indulge, even though I know the potential effects of the deep fried wings on the health of my arteries. I also still harbor ill-will toward people who've wronged me in the past, even though I know that type of stress is dangerous. I still don't get enough sleep, even though I know it's critical to my health. And I still occasionally avoid hard workouts, even though I know they are what will take me to next level. Why? Lack of motivation to progress or to do the things I know are right? Naaah - why would I lack motivation for those things? Why would anyone? Rather, perhaps, I lack motivation to do those things because I can.

This all remains a mystery and a highly studied topic in the realm of behavior modification. The only conclusion I can make is that we lack motivation in certain areas because we can. If the US was not democratic, but rather socialistic or totalitarian, we may be more "motivated" to do certain things, as there would be mandates and government control, not just oversight. Health has begun to be patrolled in some less democratic countries such as Japan, as the government began measuring waistlines and enforcing mandatory nutritional counseling to manage their rising obesity problem (partially created by our "western" fast food infiltration of their society). I bring this up with caution, and will be brief in ending. With the state of health in the US where people are allowed to make poor lifestyle choices related to nutrition and physical activity, and where taxpayers who make good choices in those areas end up paying higher taxes due to rising insurance, medical and pharmaceutical costs (among other things) as a result of the poor health of those who chose poorly (long sentence! whew!...and drum roll...I can't believe I'm going to say this:)...would it be so bad to have more government involvement in "motivating people" to make the right choices? Human motivation to be healthy...do we have a right to choose not to be healthy?